I think one of the biggest issues I had to ever face wasn’t the fact that I was getting high at the age of 9. It wasn’t the fact that I have watched both parents at different seasons of life take their last breath. It wasn’t the fact that most of my life I have been made fun of, ridiculed, trampled upon or beaten up by the world. My biggest struggle has always been how God saw me. If I was good God would love me, if I was bad the hammer of judgement was lingering at my door.
I would pray
Read my bible
And worship the best I could
But I always found myself falling short every time. I did everything I could to live for God. To my ability anyways. I struggled with this for many years. That is until God would show me something through my boy.
I don’t have very many pictures of myself as a child but when I find them I like to show people. Call me weird, but it’s true. Anyways this picture (on the left) was given to me by a relative. I thought I looked pretty cute personally, so I showed my wife and another girl whom is pretty much like a sister to me.
“Oh my goodness!”
“Wow, he looks so much like you!”
These were just a couple of the many things they said. Even as I write this, man did it bring a smile to my face. I thought to myself, “Yea he looks a lot like his momma but you know what? He has a little bit of his dad in him to!” We have similarity, and we share the same nature in many aspects.
I cannot describe to you the emotions that I felt that day. The next morning I awoke, and went to a men’s bible study. As I neared Farmington, listening to worship and just trying to clear my mind the Lord spoke to me softly…..
“John, you know how you were filled with so much joy knowing that when you look upon Ryker you see you?”
“Yes” I replied
“Now you know how I see you. For I made you in my image. And not just you but the whole world.”
Man how often I struggled in my life with how God sees me but as time went on, He would show me one of the most powerful revelations I have ever experienced on a very personal and intimate level. He revealed it to me in a little 2 year old boy.
Know this brother and sister. That as God looks upon you, it is with a smile, a melting heart, and eyes full of tears of joy. Even before the foundations of the world, God was longing for the day that He would love you as if you are the only person on earth.
I pray this blesses you…