I must confess, the past couple months have been brutal since I have started school. There is no doubt I may have over extended myself with these classes. The work is immense and with trying to be a student, husband, father, worker, and friend I honestly don’t have time for much. Sometimes I feel like I have been failing at this very list. My wife has been a trooper through it all. She is amazing and there is no way I could do it without her. My grades are doing great and hoping to finish with straight A’s but to make a long story short I am looking forward to this season being done. I am definitely doing no more than two classes from here on out. And for the spring classes coming up I am doing just one this time, preaching if it is available.
But I’m not writing this to say how much I am looking forward to it being done….
This morning I woke up and boy was I dry. Even when I arrived at church and worship started my mind and heart was not in it at all. Towards the end, with my hands in my pocket, I kept my eyes closed and in stillness pondered what was going on.
I then realized I was so busy filling my head I had not given Him time with my heart.
It was like God spoke directly into the drums of my ears and I couldn’t let it go. I needed some solitary time with Abba…. I needed experience.
I absolutely love thinking and pondering the deep things of God. More so than anything, His love, both for me and for you. For us to be effective in our ministry we MUST understand how He sees us and how He has always seen us. The fact that we are the object of His affection sends my head swirling, totally perplexed yet completely awed. It’s hard to imagine that the infinite transcending God thinks enough about me that He will give Himself for me so that I may no longer be ruled by the powers of this natural order, nor fear them. But, He does. And He is personal, and so very personal and He longs to show us if we will but only give Him the chance. This, however, isn’t brought by head knowledge but rather, by the opening of our hearts and letting God simply love us right where we are.
So there I was. I arrived at Chambers and it was like God was waiting for me. Like the prodigal I was greeted with a loving embrace. The present moment was all that mattered not the past couple months. I was simply…..there…
Even in the pursuit of our calling It’s easy to get distracted. Though intentions can be good we must be careful to never let our pursuit override our experience with Him. You will find yourself not resting in Him, but rather, resting in your own abilities. It’s the experience that equips us for the pursuit. We do what we do because He first does it in us.
I pray this blesses you.
John
Wandering Ragamuffin 